Family

Marriage is a commitment, a decision to “have and to hold, in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part”….BUT as awesome as that sounds…you do not really know how difficult it will be when you say “I do” to honor that commitment on a day to day basis. It takes a lifetime to learn to be unselfish, to put someone else’s needs before your own and to serve, respect and actively love another person in every decision you make for the rest of your life. I am a commitment person, when I make a vow or give my word, I am ALL IN!!! Marriage is the best and most fulfilling relationship I have ever invested in but it has also required more patience and perseverance than all other relationships. I absolutely LOVE my husband, he is my best friend and he has stolen my heart forever. The challenge is not my husband per se, it is the challenge of two people learning to live and love, forgive and forget and move on through the ups and downs of life together.
It is very important to be student’s of each other-to grow together and continue to learn about likes and dislikes, dreams, hopes and visions for your future together. It takes time, committed to intentional active listening and talking and then for us, praying together. Reading books together, pursuing hobbies together, being open to join your spouse in things he likes that may not be your favorite way to spend time, all help develop a deeper appreciation for one another. It is also very important to keep growing as individuals, encouraging one another to pursue personal interests and share the new things you learn.
Dating your spouse is a great investment of time and energy. Regular time together, set …

What do you think of when you hear the word home? Your house? Your address number? Where you grew up? Where you live now? Are these your first thoughts… or does the word home strike a chord deep in your heart?…  I picture sipping tea cuddled on a couch playing a game. I picture drinking lemonade on a porch catching up with old friends. I picture being surrounded by people I love. I picture laughing so hard it hurts. I picture feeling so free I can fly. But my soul yearns for the deeper feelings of love, peace, acceptance. When I think of Home, I think of what makes me feel warm inside my soul, welcomed and appreciated, at peace in the moment, loved right where I am, and known to the core of my being. For the past year and a half I have been trying to make a new home. Not a new house… A house is just the roof over your head. But what goes beyond that. What is at the core of HOME? Where do you find your significance? Who do you surround yourself with? We all probably have a few different ideas of what makes home… but here’s a few I came up with.

1. To be known and loved: We all want people to know us. So often I try to put on the facade of the person that I want people to know.  But it is in those deeper moments where people know the real me and still love me that I really feel at Home. Who knows you? Think about that relationship.

2. Safety and Security: Feeling safe is a big deal for people. But more than just circumstantially or physically safe. I want to be emotionally safe and secure. It reinforces …

At the beginning of this year, my husband and I decided to start a daily devotional together. It was a gift from our close family friends and marriage counselors and mentors (Thank you Dan and Silvia!! :D) and we decided it was time to put it to good use! I loved the idea of taking specific time to do a devotional together, but I never thought it would do as much good as it has! Not only has it given us an opportunity for undistracted quality time together (even if it is only 5 or 10 minutes), but it has brought up some great topics of discussion that we probably would not have talked about in daily conversation! It has also given me the chance to praise and thank my husband, think about how he has blessed me throughout our marriage, and how much I appreciate the things he does for me.

The One Year Devotions for Couples was written by David and Teresa Ferguson. Throughout this devotional, many themes are covered such as Acceptance, Attention, Approval, Confession, Forgiveness, Grace, Prayer, Sympathy, and Trust. Each day includes a Bible verse, a devotional that illustrates a personal experience from the Fergusons’ life, a prayer, and a discussion question.

They said, “We believe that marriage is one of the most exhilarating relationships God has created. But sometimes marriage can be exhausting because it takes work to keep a marriage alive and flourishing. However, we can tell you- from personal experience and from our observations of others- that it’s well worth the effort it takes to deepen the intimacy of marriage.”

I have really enjoyed this particular devotional because it has reminded me that everyone is broken and everyone struggles in a marriage, not just us. David and Teresa Ferguson are very vulnerable …

If you are a member of a family, you will face conflict! 

Conflict can range from small disagreements to differences of opinion about certain topics to serious struggles over big issues. Each conflict that arises gives us an opportunity to learn, grow and change. Sometimes we need to use tough love, sometimes we need to simply offer forgiveness. Sometimes we need to manage the conflict with discipline and sometimes we need to step back, reevaluate and wait for wisdom and insight to help us know how to deal with the conflict. Dealing with controversy and struggles by getting angry or using avoidance techniques are other options but do not tend to provide resolution and these choices usually cause anxiety, pain and more confusion.

Patience is one thing we need in abundance during conflict resolution. Last week, I was listening to a teaching on patience. I do not usually like pat answers or formulas, but something the speaker said about developing patience during conflict really resonated with me…..

“CONFLICT plus COMMITMENT leads to CHANGE”!!!!!

I have been thinking about this quote all week as I have observed various scenarios in my own family. And it actually seems to work…..

A parent needs to be patient when their child disobeys or willfully chooses to not follow directions. A parent who is committed to unconditionally loving their child and helping develop a strong moral character in their child will make choices to use conflict as a teachable moment to help their child grow and change.

A spouse who is devoted to his or her mate is more likely to demonstrate patience when disagreements or disappointments arise. A true commitment to respect and love one another in the midst of conflict combined with patience will help resolve the problem and will hopefully lead to …

Before I became a mom, I had a very romantic view of parenthood. I imagined my husband and I having so much fun as a family, going on lots of outings, and just feeling happy all the time. This is definitely a part of parenthood, but so are long days, hard work, and loneliness. Being a mom can be very isolating. However, the more moms I talk to, the more I realize we are all in this together!

Many of my friends have husbands who commute and work long hours or are in the military. Regardless of your situation, there are going to be long days when you need some ideas in your pocket to make it to bedtime.

I asked some friends to share their favorite ways to survive long days.

Here is a list of our tips and suggestions:

–       Easy Dinner – make sandwiches or pancakes.

–       Utilize free events and story times at your local library. I used to do this all the time with Ellie.

–       Host a play date. Then you can still have company without leaving your house!

–       Join a Mommy Group. This is definitely what saves me most days. You can join shared interest groups, find groups on Facebook or Meetup, or a become a part of a church group like MOPS. I have many virtual friends that support me through our talks and sharing on Facebook.

–       Utilize technology: text, FaceTime, Skype. Kids love to see family. Ellie and Hanna love to FaceTime with their Aunts and Uncles.

–       Do a house project to pass the time and stay focused on a task.

–       Plan something for yourself at the end of a long day: a Mom’s Night, wine and a good book, a prerecorded favorite show, or a nice …

All the family is gone, decorations have been put away, and festivities are over (Well except for football and the Olympics… those always seem to play a huge role in our society, but anyways… the actual “holiday season” is over). Life has hopefully slowed down a tiny bit so you possibly have had the chance to catch up with yourself. Holidays sometimes hit us like a tornado, and you enjoy them, but it gets crazy. I know for me I don’t always have time to reflect, think, or appreciate the people around me as much as I want to in the moment. I focus on what needs to get done or the event or the next thing. Hence this blog, I want to take a moment to reflect.

I want to take a little time to do a post holiday reflection about the people I have around me. I want to think about my family, friends, and the people that have been a part of the person I am today. If holidays are not an easy time for you, it may easy to think about the possible dysfunction of your family, or the sadness of a loss, or the hard relationships. But I want you to flip that on its head and find good in each person and situation as you think back. The people in our life all play a role in affecting life around us or the person we are. The blessings can be so so big. But also, the hard moments can be so tough.  But each hard moment has the possibility to be a pivotal step towards growing or changing. It also has the potential to be an eye opening experience to see things differently.

So try to see each person in your life as a …

Last week, my sister and I did something very brave. We went on a road trip with 5 kids 2 and under. Her twin 2 year olds and 9 month old, and my two year old and 9 month old. Thank goodness she has a Honda Pilot! We have two mommies in the front, 3 kiddos in the middle, and her twins in the back.   …