Posts Tagged ‘Love Languages’

Do you ever feel like certain ways of communication that resonate with you do not for someone else? Maybe that is because how your love tank is filled is not the same as another. Gary Chapman wrote a book called “The 5 Love Languages” that explains his conclusion that there are “five emotional love languages – five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.”

He states in his book, “Inside every child is an ’emotional tank’ waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘love tank’…The emotional need for love, however, is not simply a childhood phenomenon. That need follows us into adulthood and into marriage.”

Learning about my love languages and the love languages of others has significantly benefitted my relationships, especially my marriage. When you really take the time to learn about someone and learn how to communicate with them, you will connect with them in ways you never thought possible. But, first, let’s learn about the different love languages…

Words of Affirmation

• Using words to build up
• Express verbal appreciation
• Encouraging words – “Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from (another’s) perspective”
• Tone of voice makes a difference – messages are often more interpreted by tone of voice, not the words we use
• Ideas: write someone a nice note, go out of your way to give someone encouragement, give compliments, tell someone how you appreciate their strengths

Quality Time

• The need for undivided attention
• Avoid distractions – maintain eye contact
• Quality conversations – “sympathetic dialogue where two individuals are sharing their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires”
• Genuine desire to understand thoughts, feelings,

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