Posts by Bethany Wilkes

Deep Connection

 

At the end of the day I am usually exhausted.  My bandwidth for emotional connection or anything extra is usually run dry. Life with two toddlers is quite busy, especially those days where one is napping all day and I don’t get much of a break.  Today is not one of those days, that is why I actually get a chance to write.  So the ability to connect on a deep level with the Lord, with my husband, with friends,is not always the most appealing thing when all I want to do is binge on some netflix in my pajamas and eat some popcorn… But I have found that deep connection and meaningful conversation and investing in relationships is still so important. Even when you feel like you have nothing to give.  Usually those meaningful conversations and times of emotional connection end up filling you up.  So what can seem so daunting and like the last thing on the list can actually have the ability to give you energy and the capability to accomplish more, be more, and feel like a completely different person.  Connection speaks to our hearts, it speaks to our minds.  It draws us out of those places of complacency, of tiredness, of for lack of better words laziness.  It calls us to discover more of who we are, what makes us tick, what gives us energy, what fills us.  It makes you a better you. So why is it so hard to get there… You just got to do it.  Call a friend, even when you feel inundated with mom life and all you have to talk about is your kids.  Go out with some mom friends, even when you feel like your social skills are lacking due to toddler land and chaos.  Spend some …

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Find your Village!

How is your community as a mom? Have you found your tribe as it is called, or village, or group? Do you have an interest that you can share with other moms? Do you have kids sports teams or activities that you have found new friends? Or do you have a church group of moms? We all want to belong somewhere. We all want to be known.  And finding that village can make the world of difference on our experience as a mom.  Just having an adult to talk to, sharing stories, gleaning advice, crying, laughing, watching eachothers kids, or even just being in the same place with other people, can all be so vital in the life as a mom.

Today, I get to be a part of the 2 year anniversary of Fit4mom in my area.  This is my village.  If I had not found Fit4mom two years ago motherhood would look alot different for me.  Two years ago I was eager to find something.  I was looking for connection, for something to do with other moms, for a way for my son to meet other kids, and people in the same stage as me. I signed up no questions asked the first moment I could (I was the first member… eager beaver over here…). I showed up every day for months without missing. I found friendship, I found connection, I found sisterhood, I found relief, I found smiles, I found tears, and my kids have also become a part of something that is so important to me.  Not to mention, a whole lot of handmedowns, ha! I got to birth my daughter into a group of people that is so loving, caring, and positive in my life that she has an instant family.  Not to mention, I …

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Refresh your Soul

As Easter is right around the corner, I just want you to take a few moments to think about what is on your heart. What is your focus? What do you think about when you go to sleep at night and when you wake up in the morning? Is your soul filled? Is your spirit refreshed? Are you peaceful, or are you bombarded with the tasks of your day?

Regardless of your circumstances or the busyness of your day, take a few moments to be still. Be present. Reflect. Sit in that moment. Who are you today? Where have you come from? How have you grown? How has God walked with you through your mountains and valleys? How has he carried you?

Take some time to be filled with Jesus. The Holy Spirit is your guide and your teacher, your friend and your guide. Are you bogged down with self doubt and insecurity? Take those nasty thoughts captive and give yourself over to truth. There is truth. There is goodness. There is grace. It is all in Jesus. He has created you just as you are, with strength, with joy, with confidence. How can you really live in that experience? Are you able to see Him? If you have surrendered your life to Him, He is in you, walking with you, carrying you. You just have to pay attention, recognize, reflect.

If you are looking for a little extra reading this Easter, take some time to dive into this DESIRING GOD devotional. You won’t regret it.

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New Beginnings in Parenting

Grace… that’s the one word I have to keep reminding myself of… Grace. I am not going to be perfect. Just like my kids are not perfect, even though we wish they were… I have to let myself make mistakes as a parent and not think that one thing will ruin their existence.  Parenting is not a formula.  It is a relationship. It is a process. It is taking one day at a time. It is a gift. It is a blessing. But it will also bring out things in you that you never knew existed. Because it is a challenge. Because it is hard. Because it is exhausting. And because it is a responsibility.  But your kid was created for you, just for you, so that you could learn, grow, explore life, teach them, love them, nurture them, and direct them. But just as they are learning about life, so are we as their parents. They come into the world without anything. We become parents without a set of perfect skills or any prior experience.  We take our little babe home from the hospital and think we should have it all figured out. But each day, each step, each stage, we get to learn and grow together. So that is where grace comes in. We have to give ourselves space to learn through all the experiences just as we want our kids to keep learning and growing through their mistakes and successes.

How can we engage in growth as parents:

  • Read books
  • Listen to podcasts
  • Talk to other moms
  • Don’t say yes to everything
  • Ask for advice from parents that have gone before you
  • Have fun with your kids. Get on their level
  • Give praise, to yourself and to them
  • Give time to your kids. And Make time for
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Repost about saying “Yes by saying No”

September 2017 I wrote

“After a blissful free summer, sometimes school and fall can hit you like a slap in the face. School, homework, practice, holidays right around the corner, and the days getting shorter. But… I guess it is good to have a reality check and get back into the swing of things. I think this time of year is the perfect time to set some intentions, try new things, reorganize your priorities, and get after it!

Keep an organized Calendar. Whatever it is, phone, planner, chalkboard, be consistent. And make sure you add new things when they come up.

Choose one new thing that challenges your mind. Try something new. A class, book, hobby, writing, job, side biz… Whatever it is, challenge yourself to broad your horizons, even if its just a little bit. Just don’t be afraid.

Keep the most important things the priority. Set your intentions. Know yourself. Do the most important things first. Life tends to just roll right through if you aren’t intentional with your time.

Choose a time of the week. Chose a time of the week where you are going to get organized, plan out the week, make lists, set goals, and get after life.

Don’t be afraid to try new systems. Don’t get stuck in the old ways. If you want to try something new like meal planning or a new grocery list app or a new online ordering system, do it. If it works for you, great, if not, stop. But you will never know if you don’t try.

It is okay to say no. You do not have to do everything. Say no, and don’t feel guilty about it. You can only handle so much.

Get rid of a few things. Look at your …

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Crazy Schedules and Saying no

I think it is safe to say we all say yes to too many things!  We run from one thing to the next, stay connected on all our devices, minds are in a million different directions, our time is filled, and our lives are busy! As a mom, no matter how many kids, or what ages, or what activities involved in, moms are wearing lots of hats. Whether its dinner or laundry or work or personal time, it is all taking up space in the day and in the mind.

Saying yes to too many things is not only saying no to freedom, space, and a little rest, it could also be saying no to what you really need. Saying no can leave room for the big yes, more time to think through decisions, and more bandwidth for creativity.  I fall into this trip all the time. I want to say yes to everything. I love keeping all my options open.  But I have realized that doesn’t always lend to depth or freedom. It also doesn’t always leave room for the best thing. Saying no to something on the schedule can lead to more family time. Saying no to staying up later can leave room for more energy the next day. Saying no to another commitment may help you dive in deeper into the things you are already involved in.

I know I know, as a mom, I want to do it all. But that frame of mind and way of living probably isn’t what is best for my family. Yes I can maybe get more done, but if I am stressed out in the process it is going to affect my family, my marriage, my ability to be present. What if saying no was the courageous thing to do, …

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Sending Love One Card at a Time

“Sending Love One Card at a Time” quoted from a wonderful friend’s website who has inspired this post.  Upon receiving a letter from her last week it opened up a little piece of my heart. When was the last time you received a letter just because? Do you know that feeling of fishing through all that junk mail and finding a real envelope addressed to you and opening an actual real note?  There is something so real and authentic about it that feels different than an email. It is like reading a real book.  Real, tangible, meaningful, you can feel it and touch it. It connects to your heart and can connect to your soul. Or how about getting all those family Christmas cards during the holiday season?  I absolutely love getting Christmas cards and sending Christmas cards. It is like this piece of my heart opens up and feels connected to all those people. Snail mail gets some similar feeling from me. It feels pure and deep. Real and vulnerable.

So I have been thinking about the past week of Valentine’s Day and love and relationships. And I think it is time to send a little love to some important people in my life. Tell them that are valuable to me. Show them in a different way I care. Even if the mail doesn’t mean the same thing to them, I love getting the opportunity to send it. Sometimes the things we think we are doing for others actually ends up opening a different piece of our heart and touching us in a different way.

I have a friend that sends letters on birthdays and anniversary. She is amazing and so intentional.  And it means so much to me that I get a little blessing from such and incredible …

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Celebrate the Little Things

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So much of the NEW YEAR is focused on these big goals, habits, or changes that we want to make. We focus so much on these that we sometimes miss the little things along the way. Today I asked a group of women what they have accomplished so far this year, alot of them gawked at the question… What? It’s only been a few days.  And I said yes, but not the big goals that may take awhile to accomplish or you may already feel like you are feeling because you lost your way.  The little things.  Did you make it out of the house? did you keep your kids alive? Did you clean a cabinet? Did you make dinner? Every day we accomplish little things that we don’t even realize.  So yes BIG GOALS are good! But we can’t be so focused on those things that we lose sight of our hope and little things in the every day.

What can you celebrate today?

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Healthy Habits Healthy Lifestyle

We are taking a little break before we start introducing the Growing Weisser men starting next Monday.

It’s a new year.  Time to think through the you you want to be.  Hopefully that you is pretty close to the you you are today.  Focusing on just a few things, small things that can become a reality can help. But don’t think about things that are so far out there that are unattainable.  Think about things you can incorporate into your lifestyle today. Set a few goals. But don’t overwhelm yourself. Things take time. And you have to let yourself be you while still trying to grow! What can you do today? And then tomorrow, focus on what you can do tomorrow.

Matthew 6:31-34

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Philippians 4:8-9

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.…

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You are an influencer!

Influence. It’s a big word. What do you think of when you hear the word influence? I think of leader, impact, strong, change, powerful, and authority.  But this isn’t all this word means. Influence means “the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself” (dictionary.com). So in reality, we are all influencers.  Have you thought about the influence you are having lately?  Are you leaving a positive or negative impact? Is your influence who you want to be? Does your tone reflect your heart? Does your attitude overflow?

As a mom, I have been thinking about this alot lately. My little two year old is soaking up everything he sees, hears, feels, and even smells.  I find myself having so much fun with him, and then two seconds later I can be losing my cool about something else. What I need to realize in those little moments is the influence I am having on him.  My response, my tone, my attitude, my facial expression, all makes an impact on how he responds to the situation.  I want to be lighthearted, patient, loving, and easy going. But I find myself stressed, irritated, and negative. Everything I do is influencing his little character and development.  I am an influencer. How am I using that influence! I made a goal this week to pray for my little guy every time I found myself getting a little overwhelmed with his toddlerness.  Because the best thing I can do for him is point him to Jesus, pray for him, and love the snot out of him.  He’s just being 2! I can’t get mad at him for being exactly how he is supposed to be. But I can influence him to respond positively, feel …

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